Avery K. Tingle, The Gamer Author

Let’s get a few things straight, right now.

Everybody tries their hardest and comes up short.

Everybody falls completely on their face.

Everybody fails.

For some reason, we’re wired to believe that failure is a weakness and that just isn’t true. Failure hurts, yes. It makes us question ourselves, which is always uncomfortable. Applied correctly, failure can be the best thing that ever happened to you.

Criss Angel once said “It took me fifteen years to become an overnight success.” You wouldn’t have known it by watching him. The man made the impossible look simple. Before spinning with hurricane force to escape a straightjacket in under a minute, he showed off old archive footage of the injuries he sustained to arrive at that skill level. Four years after catching his show live, I still wonder how he didn’t break his own neck during that stunt.

I have learned to weaponize my numerous failures over the years. I no longer see them as weaknesses, but as opportunities, and you should too. Weaknesses allow you to become better versions of yourself. These are the three questions I always ask myself as I’m picking myself up.

1). Am I Supposed To Be Doing This?
No one is good at everything. I don’t do numbers. I’ve read books, taken classes, applied myself in every which way, and I just can’t process them. The effort causes migraines. I haven’t been formally diagnosed but I wonder if a learning disability is involved. Whenever I try to budget, it takes a herculean effort not to keep the numbers in place. They leap from the page and run amok. Math is not my strong suit.
Instead I surround myself with people who take to math naturally and ask for help. I’ll usually trade this help with assistance with whatever English project they have going on. I’m not good at math. I’m okay with that.

2). Where Did I Go Wrong?
If you failed, and you have an aptitude for the task at hand, it means you took a bad step. There’s nothing wrong with that. Mistakes are human. Go back over what you did, chances are you’ll be able to spot where you went wrong. Take notes. Study the issue. Ask yourself, right then and there, what you’ll do differently next time. I’ve used this method to push through Writer’s Block and publish a Writer’s Notebook after months of trial and error. Mistakes are the only way you are ever going to improve. The sooner you accept that fact, the sooner you succeed.

3). What Will I Do Differently Next Time?
This might seem redundant after that last point, but it deserves exposition. This is the most important part of analyzing your failure. You did something wrong (AND THAT’S OKAY!). The best thing you can do is figure out where you went wrong, and then figure out what you will do differently the next time.
This is important because your next attempt may result in failure too. I know, this can be really discouraging. But it’s the only way to learn. Every household name tried thousands of things before finding the one thing that worked.

Failure is a part of life. It’s a brutal part, but necessary one. Small people will try to use it against you. Learn to use it against yourself and not only will you take that power away from them, but you’ll become better at what you do.

Hope this helps. Thanks for reading.

Avery K. Tingle is a scifi/fantasy author currently residing in the Las Vegas area. Owned by two cats, he is passionate about social justice, Star Wars, and mental health. Connect to his award-winning writing and social media here.